coathanger iss-ews

i have got mostly wooden hangers in my cupboard. now, i know i have said so before, but they all face the same way, ie with hooks facing backwards. but that's neither here nor there.

i need help. can anyone suggest an easy yet effective way to stop things sliding off the fuckers?

i reckon if we could come up with something, it would save the sanity of people worldwide. i am sure i'm not the only one who swears at the cunting things when my bits and pieces fall off them.

and then if we could be bothered we could manufacture these things, whatever they would be called, stop-slips, market them and make a fortune.

if we could be bothered is the operative phrase here.

but seriously now. does anyone have an idea?

and don't talk to me about those strips of ribbon or cord that you can find inside the shoulders of certain chick clothes. i know you are meant to wind them around the top of the hanger to keep the item on. but i cut them off cause they are so damn annoying.

those annoying little balls that form on the surface of different fabrics, or PILLING

last night i was lying in my bed. our bed. of freshly laundered linen which had hung on the line in the sun. there is nothing like the smell of the sun on sheets. i don't like tumble dryers, because they are bad for the environment, expensive and just don't smell like the sun.

i became aware of a mass of pilled sheet under my feet. i had noticed this last week, as i ran my hand over to my honey's side. he wasn't in the bed but i like to stretch out when he leaves for work. and i felt these little balls.

that night we had a conversation about why his side of the bed had pilled, while mine hadn't. we talked body hair, body weight, nocturnal body movement. it was puzzling yet fun and light-hearted.

until i realised that when we made up the bed, the pilled area was still there, and it was under my legs instead of his back!

i suggested we get up and remake the bed.

he laughed at me. i laughed too. we were in a good mood, we had just been watching curb your enthusiasm, and i realise i am both like larry david and his wife. if that's possible.

then my honey said something most interesting.

"shave them off," he said. "that's what you're meant to do to fix that."

once i had established that he wasn't shitting me, i got up and fetched a razor. a lady shave, unused.

i scraped away at the section of the sheet with the pilled balls. i went lengthways a few times and lo, bits of fluff were lifting off. we scraped them off. i put the razor into my bedside drawer and got back into bed.

yes, i couldn't feel the balls. they were gone.

then we talked about my new blog, big tips. john laughed and said well of course, you do have big tips.

so this, i believe, is a very fine tip, and i enthusiastically present it here.

can you help me?

i was thinking it would be good to have a spot where people can exchange advice and tips about all the things we need to make happen in our lives.

for example, my hand towels in the bathroom always look dirty, even when they're clean. i prefer white, but can anyone tell me where to get good handtowels that don't go scuzzy? i have tried sheridan, and they are no better than anything else. any brand tips?

a similar question. which do you think is the best linen you can buy? brands?

thank you.

please ask here if you have any questions.